Mastication (of gum)
November 10, 2009Good Shabbas Video
November 6, 2009This has been passing for a few weeks now, but even though it’s late, I just can’t get enough of it.

SHUT UP WOMAN GET ON MY HORSE!
Good Shabbas Video
October 30, 2009A new tradition emerges here on the Stache’s lair: Good Shabbas Video.
This week, we’ll learn how one wrong move can make people laugh at you for a lifetime.
Pooch Went Through Castration Yesterday.
October 27, 2009Will I ever be able to look him in the eyes?
I had to trim your testicles
Doesn’t mean that I don’t care
I love you just as much
I know your manhood is like air
Mango had balls
But not anymore
Not anymore
Society won the battle
Mango will win the war
Mango you’re my pooch
A friend, an ally and a beast
Don’t take this personally
We promised the rescue
And your humping had to cease
Mango had balls
But not anymore
Not anymore
Society won the battle
You will never be a father
Not a husband probably
As well
But some bitches are smarter
Will love your impotency
Just the same
Mango had balls
But not anymore
Not anymore
Now you feel confused
I wanna sympathize
As much as I can
I will try and be supportive
To your penis I’m a fan
Mango had balls
But not anymore
Painkillers are addictive
So we need to take it slow
Pooping will feel difficult
But that’s just how life goes.
Mango had balls.
Music is Love. Faith is Love.
October 25, 2009Christian rock entices me. I’d like to electronically bow in front of the luminous whiz kid who came up with this idea. I bet you’re all speculating what were the chronicles that brought upon this fabulous phenomenon. The truth is I don’t know for sure. But if I had to guess…
I imagine a late Monday night emergency meeting in the basement of some small town church. The reverend, still exhausted from a full week of molesting the entire 8th grade gospel choir, shakes his head in disbelief after another low attendance Sunday Mass and says aloud in front of the bearded nuns and a few key members of the community:
“Oh Lord thy great who is wise and more alluring than a free-of-charge pedophilia website: how can I bring Jesus into the heart of my community?”
The lord, of course, didn’t answer. But Mrs. Archer, a concerned mother of Irish descent took her turn in speaking, ending the uncomfortable silence and replying to the holy man by saying: “Listen you piece of shit pervert. My 7 year old told me you fondled him in the chancel three days ago.”
“He enjoyed it and was fully engaged!” said the priest. “He should be grateful for my semen.”
Okay sorry people. I guess this post has taken a few wrong turns and I’m losing it a tad. Let me go back to my main point – Christian rock. It’s awesome. Here’s one of my favorite songs. I got it on iTunes. Love it. Now I’d like to dissect it as if I’m back in High-School because I loved doing that. My comments are in bold.
“Awake”
As time went on
I opened up my eyes
Never really knew me
You don’t know what’s deep inside – This is a nice start. Can still end up being a normal song. Somewhat deep, I can feel an epiphany approaching.
Just so you know I’ll never be like you– Wow. Why the hostility all of a sudden?
I’ll take what God has made me – Why don’t you take it. And shove it. Up your ass.
I’m not an empty shell – You’re a shell full of shit.
And I hope they see
Instead of following – You know that praying and church et al. is basically “following”? I mean all things aside, ‘Christianity’ isn’t really synonymous with ‘Precede’.
Finally awake – Morning.
I’m feel alive today – Cause you drank wine and was told it’s blood. P.S. you have grammar mistakes. Even I can tell.
I feel everything – Feel that..? no? how bout now? no? oh well.
It’s all so clear to me – As predicted, the epiphany arrives in serendipitous fashion.
How many times
Have I hated who I was – nuff’ with the hate already.
Lost sight of what defines me
‘cause of airbrush magazines – Yes! How many times indeed? I ask myself that often.
But now I’ve come
To cherish who I am
Sick and tired of faking
A life that wasn’t mine – Where have I heard this before? Oh right, The Anna Nicole Smith Show.
Finally awake
I’m feel alive today
I feel everything
It’s all so clear to me – Fucking a man. Good for you.
I’m alive
It’s all so clear to me
I’m alive
It’s all so clear to me – okay we get it. You don’t need to repeat every sentence.
And I hope they see – Are you just hoping or are you praying as well?
I feel everything – Great motherfucking ending line. Powerful shit man.
Lo And Behold- Winter
October 16, 2009Losing an umbrella during a rainstorm is like losing food in the holocaust.
Posted by Frankelstache
Posted by Frankelstache
Posted by Frankelstache