Life, America, Randomness

Weddings…American Weddings

with 8 comments

Many books / scripts / songs and jokes were already written on the mental state of the majority of women when their own / their daughters’ wedding is looming.

The woman I love (and her beloved mother) is by no means bridezilla, but she does, however, share a thing or twelve with all those chicks you see on that TV show bout brides. But I digress, cause, this isn’t about the woman I love, or her beloved mother.

So who are you supposed to invite to your wedding?
Traditionally, your parents invite and know more people than you do in your own wedding, and ‘their’ people are often a bunch of ancient old ladies they haven’t seen in ages, but they felt like they had to invite them because “if grandma was alive she’d say it’s unacceptable to not invite them.”.

Well guess what, grandma is dead. In fact, she’s been dead for so long I’m not even sure Larry King had his Bar Mitzvah before she perished. And guess what else, it doesn’t make any sense to invite people you haven’t been in contact with for decades.

I understand that people get really attached to the ones they grew up with, and that some believe that their college roommate from sophomore year is, in fact, their BFF. But I just don’t get the idea of inviting people you probably won’t be able to communicate with for more than three minutes, just because you were once best buddies. And trust me, this is coming from a very loyal person who is in touch with many old friends. Doesn’t it make more sense to just have a giant meal with your small circle of uber important people? Does it have to be a family, neighborhood and college reunion all at the same time, on your father’s expense?

Maybe I don’t get it cause i’m not a girl, and i never grew up waiting for the day when I can feel like the most special woman in the entire world.

Either way, my love for The Woman I Love is so big…i’m willing to go along (lovingly) with anything that’ll make her happy. Damn I’m such a wuss.


Written by Frankelstache

May 27, 2009 at 2:14 pm

8 Responses

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  1. Don’t you want to feel like the Most Special Man in the World? Or do you already?


    May 27, 2009 at 8:04 pm

  2. Sometimes I feel like Jesus. Other times like Pamela Anderson.


    May 28, 2009 at 8:21 am

  3. Check out the Gogol Bordello song about American weddings. Hilarious.


    May 29, 2009 at 11:31 am

  4. I think its in order to spread the romance around for your single friends. What? You’re not married? Then enjoy the open bar and bang my cousin.

    Johny PotsnPans

    June 4, 2009 at 1:42 pm

  5. My cousin is way too hot for you. Really.

    That being said, I’d be honored (even as a once-removed relative) to have your DNA mixed with the Frankelstachers’.


    June 5, 2009 at 8:08 am

  6. Aw, its sweet of you to go along with it! Weddings are kind of more Her thing anyway. Guys just sort of tag along.

    My wedding had 4 guests- only one that I knew, the other 3 were friends of hers. It was over in 7 and a half minutes. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I was never that kind of girl really.

    Amanda Blog and Kiss

    June 19, 2009 at 3:15 am

  7. 7.5 minutes is definitely a respectable amount of (no) time to get over with these shenanigans.

    That being said, my civil wedding soooo kicked your civil wedding’s ass. 2 minutes, 55 seconds of ceremony followed by lunch. Awesome.

    Thanks for stopping by!


    June 19, 2009 at 8:29 am

  8. Ach. You win.

    …..But was your after-ceremony lunch (technically the reception) at a place as classy as Dick’s Last Resort, where a woman was so drunk she started humping a stool and flashing her tits, and the waiter made a hat for an 11-year old boy that read: ‘I’m the sperm my mother wished she had swallowed.’

    Hand the title back over to me please.

    ….wait what was this competition again?

    Amanda Blog and Kiss

    June 19, 2009 at 10:18 am

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