Frankelstache

Life, America, Randomness

Save a Child, Get a Pet

with 4 comments

Desperate Housewife

Listen up Yanks, a child is not a dog.
True, some kids are so ugly they’re a living proof that Man came from the apes, but even that animalistic resemblance does not justify such horrible treatment.

I’ve noticed these child-to-dog converters everywhere, and it seems mostly common within White, ‘apple pie’ families.  I asked around in bewilderment why do people do this to their whelps and received numerous replies, the majority of them pointing out fear of child abduction as the cause.

Now I can’t even start to imagine how it feels to have your child kidnapped, and I would gladly assist in making the kidnappers inhale their own urine for the rest of their lives if I’ll ever lay my hands on one of them. But using a leash as a preventative act is castrating, both physically, and emotionally. It’s horrible watching these little kids trying to explore and discover the world while they’re pulled from behind like a choked horse.

If you fear for your child hold his hand. Pick him up, piggyback the tot. But in the name of Miley Cyrus – Don’t use a leash as if your child is a four months old Chiwawa named Butch.

Regardless of how joyful this mother and son look like in this perfectly situated advertising photograph, shit ain’t right. Jesus would not have approved.

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Written by Frankelstache

June 24, 2009 at 8:20 pm

4 Responses

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  1. http://www.metacafe.com/watch/163484/philip_the_hyper_hypo_kid/

    I used to think that these were ridiculous too, but then I realized that the child actually has MORE freedom than just holding a parent’s hand. They have a circular range that allows them to go further from the parent and explore more….just not too far.

    Regardless, after owning 2 dogs that I walk on leashes I would never put one on a child.

    Come on though…..look how HAPPY he is!!!! The wee tyke.

    Amanda Blog and Kiss

    June 25, 2009 at 2:09 am

    • thank you for this link. Nicole Kidman was super hot before she became super scary. I really feel like hiding when I see her now. but I digress.

      Maybe i’ll know more when i have a child that is uncontrollable. Then again I’d be much happier (seriously) if he / she cracks his head open – like his old man did – while running around than attached to me.

      he does look happy…like a dog on a walk! 🙂

      Frankelstache

      Frankelstache

      June 25, 2009 at 11:29 am

  2. It’s a crime against evolution & undeserved help for bad parents. I’m sorry, but dumb kids are suppose to be weeded out of society, not encourages to live in it.

    When I was a kid, I was allowed to run around department stores & hit people with my Thunder Cat’s sword & you know what learned by doing it? I learned I was being an asshole & to knock that shit off. But of course back then you didn’t need to be someone’s parent to have permission to hit them.

    deathinfrance

    June 25, 2009 at 5:50 am

    • Couldn’t agree more on the dumb kids, Death. Though I think the issue here is dumb parents. I always claimed that it’s very..hmm…dangerous that you don’t need a license to reproduce. I’m no AH, but back to what you said – dumb kids don’t fall from the sky, they’re created in the sack.

      Thanks for your comment.
      Frankelstache

      Frankelstache

      June 25, 2009 at 11:33 am


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