Life, America, Randomness

More Dog News

with 13 comments

0 experience The Woman I Love and me have raising puppies. Dog is predestined for therapy.

1 boy named Mango J. Frankelstache The First. Given name is a tad androgynous but nothing else stuck.

2 times I consummated since his arrival. I get less vajayjay than George Michael, Elton John and Idaho Senators altogether.

3 hours and the pup needs to pee. He was blessed with a woman’s bladder.

4 consecutive hours of sleep is the most I’m getting nowadays. I’m awake so much at night, I know all the neighborhood pimps by names.

5 lbs this elfin creature weighs. Just like the perfect boob.

6 times a day we pull out ticks from his dainty body. Like a Trojan Horse, you welcome a gift and get 100’s of horrible insects.

7 weeks are left before he can interact with other dogs. His immune system now is weaker than Michael Jackson’s.

8 different bands / singers I played for him thus far. He seemed to love Pink Floyd the most, the little fascist.

9 different toys he has and had already diminished two. Anger management is imminent.

10 trips to the pet store already. Almost as if he found us on “”

Mango The Labradoodle

Mango J. Frankelstache The First


Written by Frankelstache

July 22, 2009 at 7:26 am

13 Responses

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  1. LOL! This was wonderful! I just got a new puppy myself, and I can totally relate.

    You need to add:

    11. The number of times you’ve undoubtedly stepped in a pee spot on the floor.


    July 22, 2009 at 8:16 am

  2. Hi Bandnertx.

    Lucky enough, our dude here only had 1 accident inside the house. Not bad! He does fart a lot, though, but I guess it comes with the household.

    Please come again!


    July 22, 2009 at 10:13 am

  3. hey a home that farts together……well, you know… cute pup! still think you should have named it a number but mango is cute! creative post btw.


    July 22, 2009 at 11:57 am

    • Thank you!

      I pitched the numbers concept to The Woman I Love and though she had a good laugh, she exercised her veto right.

      She is a sweet soul, please don’t let this incident come between you.



      July 22, 2009 at 7:35 pm

  4. Mr. Given-Name Frankelstache,

    Although I find this list mildly autistic, I must say I’m impressed.

    Have you ever thought of becoming a Kindergarten teacher? Because seriously, those kids would have their numbers down in no time flat.

    It’s people like you, G-N FS, that make learning fun! And mildly awkward!

    Your shining light,



    July 22, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    • Dear she who prime ministers speak volumes of, B,

      Autism…How wonderful! I take that as a great compliment.

      I have to say that when i think about teaching kindergarten the image I have is of Detective John Kimbell. Perhaps this means you see potential in me to one day govern the greater state of California? I’d like to think so.


      P.S. While waiting for my Green Card to arrive, I spent a few months volunteering in a daycare. Some of my earlier posts touch on that subject (but not that kind of touching, jeez), feel free to explore.


      July 22, 2009 at 7:46 pm

  5. Mango! I loves it! Congrats, daddy!

    The puppy stage is hard but he’s a cutie so he’s worth it! Just remember when you’re out with friends to keep the dog talk to a minimum- apparently people get sick of it! pppffffff.

    PS- 5 pound boob? A pair being 10 pounds? That’s nothing but back ache!

    Amanda Blog and Kiss

    July 22, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    • Oh man…it still feels weird to be named daddy…I prefer ‘uncle’ for now..or maybe ‘Papa’ or even ‘Pappy’. The first makes me feel like a rapper, while the second just makes me feel Mexican, and Mexican Men are very manly (mostly due to their stache).

      I will definitely remember your advice on over sharing with others. I’m all about sensitivity and respecting other people’s narcissism.

      Thanks for your visit,


      July 22, 2009 at 7:48 pm

  6. Mango? Damned odd name but a cute pup nonetheless.

    If it’s not too late, Mungo is a good Scottish name and might make a nice alternative.

    Donald Mills

    July 22, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    • Dear Donfather,

      1st it’s always a tremendous honor to have you here. Namaste.

      As for the spelling of the name – We have explored multiple options for the spelling. I myself was worried people would mistake Mango to be short for Mongoloid.

      It is never too late for anything, Donald. I promise to see if the Scottish heritage is something the pup relates to.

      Thanks for sparing some of your precious time,


      July 22, 2009 at 7:41 pm

  7. Mango is a pretty good name, Frankelstache. Maybe a little bit fruity…ooh, ker-snap!

    Sorry, that was a little hard to resist. My parents also have a Labradoodle. Check out the link to my old man’s photography on my site for a few pictures of the future of your dog (except blacker).

    By the way, I hope nobody bullshitted you that they don’t shed…they do.


    July 22, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    • Hey RGB,
      Man, I live in San Francisco. Fruitiness is an integral part of life around here…guess we’re dragged (pun!) to that world sometimes without even noticing.

      Will check those photos later. We’re actually wondering how he’ll end up. We know he sheds, but most importantly for us is the lack of any allergic reactions from the Woman I Love.

      besides, it’s very hard to bullshit me. You can’t teach a father how to make babies.

      Be well up there in Canada. Don’t forget to visit the washroom every now and then.


      July 22, 2009 at 7:53 pm

  8. Just remember Mr. Stache, that’s the face of pure evil right there.


    July 23, 2009 at 5:31 am

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