Life, America, Randomness

My Fashion Halo, Part I

with 7 comments

As all three of you readers (may have) noticed, I haven’t written anything in awhile. The reason being that unlike my freelance days, full-time employment is a) exhausting, b) laborious and c) sucking every bit of inspiration and creativity out of me. It’s almost the best blowjob I ever got, and similarly, it’s going to be a mess once it’s over.

Nonetheless, all us dearly beloved have gathered here today to talk about fashion. Chic. Attire.

Working in a very fashion-progressive environment that almost forces one to express himself via clothing, turns every day into a struggling battle. Knock on wood, I’ve been blessed with having pretty much every material need taken care of throughout my life. But my wardrobe still resembles that of an 8 year-old kid in Angola. I have 3-4 tshirts, 2 pairs of pants and a handful of underwear. Shoes etc. were always somewhat of a privilege, probably because of the sizzling Israeli summers that required barefoot-ness. In any case, I had to get a real makeover before starting this thingy here in CO. This made The Woman I Love exceptionally ecstatic, but before the shopping spree began, I was dreading like an anal virgin, minutes before the lube comes out of the drawer.

So we went…and spent…and then spent some more….all in the name of making a good impression. Soon enough I was armed with a plethora of nakedness-hiding gear. The Woman I Love chose famous brands and contemporary designs, navigating between the need to hide my beer belly and the desire to emphasize my unibrow and nose-hair. It felt odd to wear all these clothes that have buttons and neckbands. Still feels odd. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to it. The saddest thing about all these fashion shenanigans is that I ended up still looking like a shlump. Okay, stop for a minute – I make this sound way worse than it is. It’s still Advertising, and it’s still casual. No one wears a suit or anything, unless they’re trying to be ironic. We’re talking basic polos, some sweaters and reasonably tight jeans. Still, I can wait to hopefully finish these three months and go back to wearing my 3-4tshirts.

I have much more to add about general American dress code, and general fashion tips from my inner Tim Gun, but I’ll spare them for now. Maybe in part II of this.

Frankelstache out.

P.S. happy Holocaust day!


Written by Frankelstache

April 12, 2010 at 8:58 am

7 Responses

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  1. A very welcome return from the evidently horrific doldrums of working life.


    April 12, 2010 at 9:38 am

  2. Dear Jay,
    Thanks for visiting!

    How are things at your end of the ocean? Any new dishes I should try?

    Good hearing from ya,


    April 12, 2010 at 12:05 pm

  3. Frankelstache,

    a) Nice use of anal references, blow jobs, beer bellies, unibrows and nose hair. You are very appealing and a bit gratuitous.

    b) Not so many name brands really. And the clothes wouldn’t look so shlumpy if you hung them up after you took them off.

    c) Ecstatic is overstating the pleasure I took in fighting with you about what to buy and what you need.

    But thanks for improving your look and your attitude when it comes to fashion forward/professional attire.

    I love you, please come home.

    The Woman You Love

    April 12, 2010 at 2:37 pm

  4. hey~ long time no see!


    April 13, 2010 at 5:51 pm

  5. Good Christ…you’re expected to wear shoes to work? It’s barbaric!

    Nice to see you back. Now hang up your sweater before it gets wrinkled.

    Donald Mills

    April 29, 2010 at 6:41 pm

  6. Dear Sometimes I Watch The Biggest Loser In Reverse Just To See Who The Biggest Gainer Will Be Stache,

    Are you dead?

    Please advise.

    Worried in Canada.


    July 7, 2010 at 10:42 pm

  7. Hola.
    Escribo porque me intriga “FRANKELSTACHE”. La casualidad es que mi abuelo se llamaba Wilhelm Frankel y mi abuela Paulina Stache. Ellos eran de Alemania, provincia de Silesia. Por lo tanto, eran la familia Fränkel-Stache. Es solo casualidad ?
    Cualquier coincidencia o informacion, mi correo es: Ricardo Frankel (Puerto Montt, Chile).

    Ricardo Frankel

    March 18, 2011 at 2:20 pm

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