Frankelstache

Life, America, Randomness

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

My Fashion Halo, Part I

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As all three of you readers (may have) noticed, I haven’t written anything in awhile. The reason being that unlike my freelance days, full-time employment is a) exhausting, b) laborious and c) sucking every bit of inspiration and creativity out of me. It’s almost the best blowjob I ever got, and similarly, it’s going to be a mess once it’s over.

Nonetheless, all us dearly beloved have gathered here today to talk about fashion. Chic. Attire.

Working in a very fashion-progressive environment that almost forces one to express himself via clothing, turns every day into a struggling battle. Knock on wood, I’ve been blessed with having pretty much every material need taken care of throughout my life. But my wardrobe still resembles that of an 8 year-old kid in Angola. I have 3-4 tshirts, 2 pairs of pants and a handful of underwear. Shoes etc. were always somewhat of a privilege, probably because of the sizzling Israeli summers that required barefoot-ness. In any case, I had to get a real makeover before starting this thingy here in CO. This made The Woman I Love exceptionally ecstatic, but before the shopping spree began, I was dreading like an anal virgin, minutes before the lube comes out of the drawer.

So we went…and spent…and then spent some more….all in the name of making a good impression. Soon enough I was armed with a plethora of nakedness-hiding gear. The Woman I Love chose famous brands and contemporary designs, navigating between the need to hide my beer belly and the desire to emphasize my unibrow and nose-hair. It felt odd to wear all these clothes that have buttons and neckbands. Still feels odd. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to it. The saddest thing about all these fashion shenanigans is that I ended up still looking like a shlump. Okay, stop for a minute – I make this sound way worse than it is. It’s still Advertising, and it’s still casual. No one wears a suit or anything, unless they’re trying to be ironic. We’re talking basic polos, some sweaters and reasonably tight jeans. Still, I can wait to hopefully finish these three months and go back to wearing my 3-4tshirts.

I have much more to add about general American dress code, and general fashion tips from my inner Tim Gun, but I’ll spare them for now. Maybe in part II of this.

Frankelstache out.

P.S. happy Holocaust day!

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Written by Frankelstache

April 12, 2010 at 8:58 am

A delayed Good Shabbas Video

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so in the past, we’ve all relished on some quality singing like this amazing vide

But now, I present to you, my friends, the newest most awesomest video involving an asian dude doing Karaoke.

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March 8, 2010 at 2:59 pm

English is an Ubber Odd Language

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Hello all and welcome back to today’s episode of the Frankelstache’s misunderstandings with English.

So in America, when a person says: “Damn, I’d kill for a Burrito right now.” the people around him conclude that that person is really craving a Burrito.

My personal and completely normal conclusion was that given that murder is the highest rated offense (punishment wise), I can proudly announce: “Damn, I’d sodomize a 12 year-old for a Burrito right now.”

That didn’t go so well.

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January 15, 2010 at 12:05 am

Good Year Video

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This is brilliant.

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January 4, 2010 at 11:09 am

Why Are All These Douchbags Sending

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Me texts so early in the morning? don’t they know my love for Jesus dieג together with him, 2013 years ago?

Fuck these texts. Let me sleep.

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December 25, 2009 at 8:57 am

A Man Knows He’s Getting Old

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When hair starts growing in his ears. Until then, he’s nothing but a manchild.

Written by Frankelstache

December 24, 2009 at 4:06 pm

Posted in Humor, Life, Random

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Good Shabbas Video

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You know, I tried. I really tried. But I just can’t find the words to describe this video. I hope you enjoy this experience.

Written by Frankelstache

December 11, 2009 at 12:00 pm