Frankelstache

Life, America, Randomness

Archive for the ‘SEX’ Category

Good Shabbas Video

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While on the subject of toilets, I thought we can enjoy this classic Asshole activity.

Written by Frankelstache

November 28, 2009 at 9:37 am

Anal-ism

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Something’s been bugging me for a while now. Not really sure why I remembered it all of a sudden. It’s late, I’m watching an MTV show about 16 year old White Trash girls that got Britney-ied* and I guess you could say I’m still under the influences of Queen, that’s been playing in the background for the past hour.

At any case, I have another English inquiry I wanted to talk about. You know I came to America a tad less than three years ago thinking / knowing that the word ‘Anal’ has to do with one’s anus, and is more often than not used when describing an activity closely related to but-banging. Faster than the time it takes a republican to answer ‘Jesus’ when asked who’s got his back, I learned that ‘Anal’ isn’t a language taboo, but actually socially accepted – and can, at certain occasions, be seen as a compliment.

Time had passed and I learned more and more about the American use of the English language. I avidly read Krakuer’s awesome books, surreptitiously studied H. Fleming’s eye-opening poetry and diligently watched a few Hannah Montana episodes, yet the story behind Anal’s transition from a sodomy-descriptive adjective to an allegory illustrating a detailed-oriented / control-freak person has yet to exposed itself in front of my daunted eyes.

The first explanation I came up with was that apparently all these Librarians / OCD Soccer Moms must really like it up the ass. But that seemed like a bigger urban legend than “Woody Allen used to make great movies” so I decided to forego it. Then I thought that maybe it’s because the anus is a very tight and squeezed place, and that so-called ‘anal’ people really enjoy small and tight places cause they can fit things inside of it (by category) and label it perfectly. But that, too, sounded like a far-fetched idea. Lastly, I went as far as exploring the possibility that the correlation between the two uses stems from the fact that a vagina lubes itself free-willingly (well, somewhat) while the ass’s lubrication levels can and must be controlled – and anal people like control. But that was just too out there and I thought no one is that twisted.

So now I turn to you. Can someone please put me out of my misery and explain, once and for all what’s the deal?

* Knocked up

Written by Frankelstache

June 18, 2009 at 11:36 pm

Random Thought

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Slutty girls often end up dropping out of college due to unexpected pregnancy.

Being a risk taker never pays off.

Written by Frankelstache

May 26, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Posted in Humor, Random, SEX

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Sex on HBO

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I’m watching an HBO sex Docudrama. You know, one of these late night specials where they track flotsam and jetsam at a semi-deserted Nevada whore house. It feels like I’ve seen this same Docudrama a hundred times before. Yet, with every rerun I still watch vigilantly in hope for an erection, one that never comes (oh, the pun).

Instead, I find myself sitting in awe as these independent women of ‘The Cathouse’ talk to the camera in a language less cohesive than my friend’s 4 month old fetus. And the thing that kills me the most is the poor dude that keenly appears as co-star in this gripping tragedy. You’d think that a man desperate enough to pay for sex will wanna keep it a secret. Or at least hide his face somehow. Wear sunglasses, a fake beard – anything. But no. This guy is as honest about paying for his sexual encounters as Rush Limbaugh is honest in his belief in white supremacy.

I ought to wonder where’s the confidentiality? Where’s the self-awareness? I mean hookers? What happened to having your ass hole licked by your wife a totally sufficient guilty pleasure? Who pushed the envelope* to this extreme?

Back to HBO, the whore house owner just said: “I don’t sleep with civilian chicks. I don’t wanna sleep with amateurs. These girls are professionals and they’ll do things that civilians will never do.” Awesome.

* Great opportunity for me to link to this

Written by Frankelstache

March 14, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Posted in Life, Randomness, SEX

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