Frankelstache

Life, America, Randomness

Posts Tagged ‘Barak Obama

Help Obama Sell Healthcare

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In response to this:

Here are some headlines to aid in this democratic struggle. So why change the current state of Healthcare?

1. Because ‘Freedom’ is having your herpes cured for free.

2. Because Hospital employees smell worse than your neighborhood bums.

3. So the homeless will die healthy.

4. You’re unemployed and have no retirement – do you really think you have a choice?

5. So Jesus can work his miracles.

6. Because Bush would never do it and that’s all the reassurance we need.

7. Cause Doogie Houser is gay.

8. Because Doctors are obnoxious, keep them off the streets.

9. Because Meth lab employees are getting furloughed.

10. So Jewish mothers will continue to develop complexes.

Written by Frankelstache

September 16, 2009 at 4:53 pm

May Day

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So today is the day of the worker, a holiday that emerged out of the beliefs of Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels and their partners in crime. This being America, no one really knows what does that mean. Having spent (some part of) my day wearing a red shirt, receiving no signs of public acknowledgment or appreciation, I began to ponder where this country is heading. Calling someone a ‘commie’ was once the English language’s worst abuse, an honor that’s now reserved to the word ‘cunt’. Being a commie was essentially being a traitor – dooming you to be hang by the KKK as if you were a gay Jewish African American who also has one chromosome too much.

But now these days are gone and Obama is the King of America. Many people, most of them reside within the Fox News studios, are blaming Obama for driving this country into communism, socialism, fascism and yes, I heard it with my own ears – Jihadism. Amazing. So this begs the question: Is it so bad to be a tad socialistic? Will America crumble as soon as its capitalistic heart will miss a beat? I mean seriously, what will happen?  Texans will cease from speaking with an accent?  Black people will go to College? Sizzler will unite with Lululemon? Californian will vote for a Republican, twice? Hipsters will gain weight? Peace in the Middle East? Vesuvius will erupt? Bums will win American Idol? Hollywood will be run by apes? Oprah will have a panic attack?

What’s the deal?