Frankelstache

Life, America, Randomness

Posts Tagged ‘Death

Night Swimming.

with 2 comments

Death came for a visit yesterday

3AM Pacific Time.

He drowned in the pool

Floating on his stomach.

70 something years

320 something lbs.

Flexing his arms

Closing his fists

Yelling at the sky

Smiling with no teeth.

A plethora of fans

One lonely man

3 kids

Biologically

Girls

Boys

Dogs

Teachers.

Can’t possibly be sad about this

It’s a day for love, food and celebration.

Wouldn’t have it any other way.

Written by Frankelstache

December 11, 2009 at 11:34 am

Posted in Life

Tagged with , , , , , , , ,

נוח על משכבך בשלום, תת אלוף נגלי

leave a comment »

אני בטוח שאתה כבר עושים קטעים שם למעלה.

RIP Brigadier General Eitan Nagli. I’m sure you’re already making em all laugh up there.

Written by Frankelstache

December 10, 2009 at 10:50 am

Posted in Life

Tagged with , , ,

10 People I’d Have a Beer With

with 9 comments

Hitler

Shaq

Joseph Smith My Grandpa

Yasser Arafat

Tim Gunn

Britney Spears

Golda Meir

My Grandma

My Other Grandma

Tyra

Update / Clarification:

The above order is completely random. Also, admiration isn’t the only driving force behind my choices. I’m far more interested in learning about those I can’t understand.

Written by Frankelstache

August 21, 2009 at 12:01 pm

Death Comes To Us All

with 5 comments

For tragic reasons, for the past week I kept hearing “This is how / what he would have wanted it”, “He died happy, doing something he love”, “he would have hated this”, “He would have loved that”.

More often than not, when someone close to us dies we’re pretty dead on sure what / how he / she would have wanted his / her death to be treated. Or do we really?

So today I wanted to write about how I would want the Frankelstache aftermath to look like, and on the way make some clarifications bout how, why and were I want to be when it’s time for me to send myself back to god knows where.

1st, I really want people to get drunk and feast like there’s no tomorrow. Heck, I’ll even put some money aside in my will to sponsor my own funeral and assure it’s catered with some mouthwatering pork ribs, and screw all of my religious Jew / Muslim friends. Hopefully they’ll be too drunk to say ‘no’ anyhow.
2nd, I don’t want anyone to write anything on my Facebook wall once I’ve departed. If we were Facebook friends, then there’s an 80% we’re not really friends anyhow, so do us all a favor and save your typing fingers for some quality porn sites.
3rd, in terms of cause / location, I always said that I’d prefer saying my farewells after either a good steak, a wonderful dump or an epic intercourse session. The thing is, perishing during a meal means choking, which isn’t fun based on all the fish I’ve slaughtered when I was young. Dying in the restroom could be very messy not to mention smelly, and dropping while banging could leave The Woman I Love pretty traumatized, which isn’t a nice thing to do to her lovely heart.
I guess I need to think about this a tad more before I make a decision.

4th, I want to die knowing I’ve chased my dreams and have achieved them. Want to go knowing I chose life, and that I steered the Frankelstache ship all the way through, even if it crashed once, twice or twelve times. I take no consolation in hearing that those who die young were full of potential, up-and-coming and ready to take over the world. Fuck that shit. Potential is what people say you have when they don’t want to tell you that right now, you suck. So lastly, I want to die old and be buried back home, at the Kibbutz.

I wish everyone that reads this (including myself) decades of health and love.

Written by Frankelstache

July 9, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Posted in Life, Random

Tagged with , , , , ,

RIP, SHP.

with 10 comments

Life is so short. Make sure you live it following your heart. Always spread happiness.

Written by Frankelstache

June 30, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Posted in Life, Uncategorized

Tagged with ,

Facebook and Holocaust Denial

with one comment

So apparently there’s a big mess behind the scenes with Facebook refusing to delete groups that revolve around denying this little thing called the Holocaust.
Essentially, Facebook claims that the site is a fair, honest and equal opportunity platform, and as such, it actually encourages such groups, cause their existence is a stage for debate, education etc. etc.
The Jews on the other hand, claim that Holocaust denial is a first-degree family related to this little thing called Anti-Semitism, which is illegal in many Countries. Also, that these hate-groups has no debate, no education – nothing but spreading toxic and inciting harmful, misleading propaganda.

Holocaust denial always fascinated me. I mean, the audacity one must have in order to claim that it was made up is mind-boggling. It actually makes me laugh due to its ridiculousness. With my own eyes, I sat at the foot of a 7 Ton mountain of ashes in Majdanek. I’ve smelled the unmistakable scent of death at Birkenau. Walked through the human-experimentation labs in Auschwitz. I’ve seen the 17,000 tombstones, each representing a different Jewish community, in Treblinka. I felt the cold of Zakopane, and I witnessed the remains of Bergen-Belsen. I heard my grandparents speak, saw numbers tattooed on my neighbor’s hand, visited Anne Frank’s house and even read Frankel’s Search For Meaning. But I guess all of that was a fake, a Hollywood-style production orchestrated by those pesky Jews.

I don’t think it’s right to ask Facebook to take down those hate groups. Dumb fundamentalists were around even before Al Gore, and stopping them from poisoning the World Wide Web won’t eradicate them from the face of this planet. The cure for HD, like always, is education. It’s contributing money for Museums and exhibitions. It’s challenging Holocaust deniers to fly to Poland, so they can behold the evidence. It’s uploading to those same Facebook groups interviews with Holocaust survivors, and with German / Polish witnesses. It’s spreading and showing books, publishing documentaries, filming  movies and creating art that portray those years and all that occurred. It’s investing in Advertising campaigns, PR and educational Marketing. It’s talking, explaining, screaming when needed.

Some people claim that Holocaust never happened. Fix their ignorance, don’t just tell them to shut up.

A few important links:

http://www.amazon.com/My-Hands-Memories-Holocaust-Rescuer/dp/0385720327/ref=cm_lmf_tit_6


http://www.ushmm.org/

http://www.shamash.org/holocaust/photos/

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1173098/jewish_history_library_holocaust_documentaries.html

Written by Frankelstache

May 18, 2009 at 10:16 pm

Things That Are Bound To Happen

leave a comment »

“The only certainty in life is death”, goes the cliché’. I really hate cliché’s.
I can see and understand society’s need for cliché’s, but me being insecure in my originality and individuality (the result of growing up in a commune) makes me vigorously and automatically oppose anything that’s structured and predestined. Lucky enough, back at the day Al Gore helped creating this little thing called the World Wide Web, and here we are today inside this spectacular blog platform.

It brings me great joy when I am able to refute a preexistent perception, and therefore I would like to tackle the cliché’ positioned at the top of today’s post. I might have to use other truisms in order to negate it, but nobody said that’s not allowed.

Certainty 1: The husband will always screw the babysitter.
From Jane Eyre to David Beckham, bringing a younger woman to take care of your toddlers is like going to the Cheesecake factory while on a diet. If I were a mom, I would rather let Theodore Kaczynski take care of my kids than welcoming a youthful chick into my abode. Granted, men are horrible, but even my inner-woman* knows that the only thing lamer than a slimy man is that slut who was easily manipulated to join him in the bedroom. Wives, don’t act surprised if one day it’ll happen to you, too. If you must get a nanny, make sure she’s a survivor of either Chernobyl or Hiroshima. That way she’ll be so old and damaged even Bill Clinton wouldn’t wanna do her.

Certainty 2: Asian people will always travel in packs.
Whether it’s when they’re touring a new city, dancing in a club, walking to the restroom, shopping, or their absolute favorite: standing in a random line – those little cats are always in a group. One of my good friends suggested that’s it’s because they are both small and shy, so they work better as a group. Makes sense to me, but even so, it kinda bugs me that I always encounter them on a mass scale. It’ll be nice to meet just one of them every now or then, or at least see one mingles in a more diverse assemblage. Good news is that Asian women do a good job fueling many orgy fantasies, I’ll give em that.

Certainty 3: Kids will tell jokes you will never understand.
This has recently been validated inside my head in the daycare I volunteer at. You know, I’ve met my share of not so hilarious adults, but kids are something else. They have the worst sense of humor ever. They’re jokes aren’t even jokes. It’s usually a dumb question like ‘what did the cow told the chicken?” and the answer/punch line is usually something like “Your feathers smell”. At first I thought it was only me who isn’t getting it, but throughout the years I’ve learned that it’s actually those kids who don’t.

Certainty 4: People with an accent will always appear dumber.
This is a cross-cultural, intercontinental and multilingual certainty. Hear a girl speak Spanish with an American accent and you’ll automatically assume you can convince her you’re worth a lay. Hear a guy speak English with a Southern accent and you’ll instantly be willing to bet your savings you’ll defeat him hands down in a trivia challenge. This certainty, however, does not include people with a British accent cause for some reason that makes people sound smarter. Which is peculiar, to say the least, cause most Brits are drunks who never left their hometown, or just condescending snobs who feel superior cause they have a Queen. God and tourists know why the F I should care about their queen, but oh well.
Certainty 5: Jesus will never return.
Get over it. It’s time you accept it.

Certainty 6: In every album, Beyoncé will have a mega feminist song.

Since her early days in the amazing trio Destiny’s Child, Beyoncé is a bigger believer in women power than Rosie O’Donnell. “You thought that I’d be weak without ya, But I’m stronger. You thought that I’d be broke without ya, But I’m richer.” “All the women who are independent, Throw your hands up at me.” “I can have another you by tomorrow. So don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable.” And my absolute favorite: “I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips. Acting up, drink my cup, I could care less what you think. All the single ladies, all the single ladies – now get your hands up! Ho, Ho, Ho!!!
Death? clearly not the only thing we can count on.

* I’d like to think she had a rough childhood and her name is L’atisha.

Written by Frankelstache

March 20, 2009 at 6:16 pm