Frankelstache

Life, America, Randomness

Posts Tagged ‘Education

A Trip in Words

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Parents got older,

Friends got married

People got ruder,

Grandma still buried.

Life got expensive-r,

Water sources got depleted

Little girls turned women,

Corruption remains untreated.

Right Wing got extremer,

Religion more popular

Food still tastier,

Views got spectacular.

Healthcare still free,

Summer weather mainly rules

From school everybody flee,

Education is run by tools.

1,095 days later

Life here do seem better.

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Written by Frankelstache

October 15, 2009 at 7:02 am

Airport Poem

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“My People”

 Screw the natives

Why do they make me feel so bad?

I’m usually competitive

But this just makes me sad.

 

They accuse. They’re entitled.

Uneducated. Uninvited.

 

I try to ignore

There are so many kinds,

I’ve been here before

Stressed and then untied.

 

Disrespectful and obnoxious

With a dash of cockiness and smug,

Utterly preposterous,

They make me wanna gag.

 

Fashion ain’t their thing

They seek attention,

I give them shame.

 

They are as shallow as a fling

No real heat

Just lots of flame.

Written by Frankelstache

September 26, 2009 at 7:42 pm

Posted in Life, Random

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How Significant Is College

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I never attended college. Heck, I barely even attended Middle School. My academic resume includes rejection and ejection from the system at age 16, and sneaking my way into a creative Portfolio Program at 23 (most likely because the owner is 134 years old and his much younger wife will accept anyone willing to issue a check). With that said, I’ve written letters on behalf of many of my friends who aspired to get accepted into various establishments, and (knock on Ron Jeremy’s wood), I have an amazing perfect success rate, thus far. I’m especially conceited due to my latest achievement, getting one of my best friends into Medical School. Good luck, EK!

Will my lack of college education thwart me as I move forward in life? Most likely it will, especially here in Uncle Sam’s land where it seems like even the dumbest living (Caucasian) organism has some sort of post high-school learning.
This got me thinking about the various degrees people obtain during their college years, and how essential those degrees are for their life.

BFA in Ancient Greek Poetry – “This degree together with my ‘Trader Joe’s’ arm tattoo and an emo haircut will give me lots of street-cred within the Hipster community. It will aid me in articulating my rage toward America’s imperialism as I scream with zealous I would move to France if I didn’t need unemployment checks.“
P.S. “Nobody gets my art.”

Undergraduate in Computer Science –  “I spent $100,000 on tuition to learn how to make a Power Point Presentation and I look forward to a life of fixing people’s emails. With my vast IT knowledge only Asians will understand me, so I’ll naturally spend most of my work conferences inside a massage parlor, begging for a happy ending.”
P.S. “I have a mohawk cause I’m a rebel, so don’t let the suit fool you, fool.”

BA in French – “Since I never left America (call me a patriot), this will be awesome. I’ll eat escargot and make love with chicks that don’t shave their armpits. Sure, I’ll miss Wal-Mart and Baseball, but hey, I’ll learn lots of pick up lines.”
P.S. “It’s Freedom Fries, motherfucker.”

Business Administration – “I took all of my classes online so I can graduate in the nude. My Professor’s avatar told me it foresees a bright future for me managing a Mickey D’s branch but I’m thinking I’m much more of a JC Penney’s type of guy.”
P.S. “My name is Jud and I’m a Phoenix.“

All jokes aside, I will still gladly change places with either of the above, make no mistake about it. I feel that not pursuing a higher education was a misstep in retrospect, especially given the new American economic reality. One of these days I’ll get my degree, though, I’m sure. Even if only to prove to myself I am capable of doing that. My college experience won’t include beer bongs, hazing or popping 18 year-old cherries. It might be the first step I take as I change careers, it might be purely for my intellectual entertainment and enrichment. One way or the other, I promise to find my old teacher’s house afterward and urinate all over the bitch’s lawn.

Written by Frankelstache

July 15, 2009 at 12:08 am

Facebook and Holocaust Denial

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So apparently there’s a big mess behind the scenes with Facebook refusing to delete groups that revolve around denying this little thing called the Holocaust.
Essentially, Facebook claims that the site is a fair, honest and equal opportunity platform, and as such, it actually encourages such groups, cause their existence is a stage for debate, education etc. etc.
The Jews on the other hand, claim that Holocaust denial is a first-degree family related to this little thing called Anti-Semitism, which is illegal in many Countries. Also, that these hate-groups has no debate, no education – nothing but spreading toxic and inciting harmful, misleading propaganda.

Holocaust denial always fascinated me. I mean, the audacity one must have in order to claim that it was made up is mind-boggling. It actually makes me laugh due to its ridiculousness. With my own eyes, I sat at the foot of a 7 Ton mountain of ashes in Majdanek. I’ve smelled the unmistakable scent of death at Birkenau. Walked through the human-experimentation labs in Auschwitz. I’ve seen the 17,000 tombstones, each representing a different Jewish community, in Treblinka. I felt the cold of Zakopane, and I witnessed the remains of Bergen-Belsen. I heard my grandparents speak, saw numbers tattooed on my neighbor’s hand, visited Anne Frank’s house and even read Frankel’s Search For Meaning. But I guess all of that was a fake, a Hollywood-style production orchestrated by those pesky Jews.

I don’t think it’s right to ask Facebook to take down those hate groups. Dumb fundamentalists were around even before Al Gore, and stopping them from poisoning the World Wide Web won’t eradicate them from the face of this planet. The cure for HD, like always, is education. It’s contributing money for Museums and exhibitions. It’s challenging Holocaust deniers to fly to Poland, so they can behold the evidence. It’s uploading to those same Facebook groups interviews with Holocaust survivors, and with German / Polish witnesses. It’s spreading and showing books, publishing documentaries, filming  movies and creating art that portray those years and all that occurred. It’s investing in Advertising campaigns, PR and educational Marketing. It’s talking, explaining, screaming when needed.

Some people claim that Holocaust never happened. Fix their ignorance, don’t just tell them to shut up.

A few important links:

http://www.amazon.com/My-Hands-Memories-Holocaust-Rescuer/dp/0385720327/ref=cm_lmf_tit_6


http://www.ushmm.org/

http://www.shamash.org/holocaust/photos/

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1173098/jewish_history_library_holocaust_documentaries.html

Written by Frankelstache

May 18, 2009 at 10:16 pm

How iPhones Are Killing Our World

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The world has recently been blessed by the appearance of iPhones and their equivalents. Indeed, a great step for Man, and another proof that the Asians and their technology have won, again.

In flat advertising/marketing terms, iPhone’s ad campaign is considered really good. It shows nothing but the product and its benefits throughout the ad, it’s fun, easy and relatable. My favorite ad is the one where the narrator asks the viewers “what if you needed so and so…?” and then answers “There’s an app (application) for that.” Their tagline is “Solving life’s dilemmas, one app at a time”, which I find to be a great line from iPhone’s perspective. But what is wrong about these shenanigans is that instead of marching mankind forward, this technology is doing the opposite.

If you ask me what are life’s dilemmas, I’ll ask in return what in this world determines what happens after you die? Or how do I know if I’ve found ‘The One’? Should I move closer to my parents when they’re old or put them in a senior citizen’s home? Should I hug my baby when he cries or toughen him up by ignoring? Is it moral to tell on a friend when you know he’s cheating? Should we negotiate with terrorists in order to bring home captured soldiers? Is it okay to commit acts of violence in the name of JC or Muhammad or Moses? how come there aren’t any apps for these dilemmas?

Knowing my friend’s twitter status at any given moment isn’t really a part of (my) life’s dilemmas. And as for finding if a certain restaurant is open tonight for dinner, that’s not really a substantial issue either. I’m not saying technology isn’t glorious, I’m saying that it’s startling to see a product celebrating the fact that it will relieve you of thinking for yourself. Reminds me of when Pizza Hut celebrated the fact that their “Pizzone” has a pound of cheese in it. ONE FULL POUND OF CHEESE. And that’s a selling point – that’s the thing that will make you want to buy it and eat it. And it did. But I digress.

Pretty soon, iPhones will engage in automatic conversations with our acquaintances, giving us more time to play blackjack online and be happy with how connected we are with all of our friends (“look, I even found my high-school band on facebook!!”). Today’s kids are already way more comfortable having connections and interactions online than doing it face to face. Is it our future to be a society where human touch is nothing but an archaic concept? Is human touch doomed to end up like payphones?

Written by Frankelstache

March 25, 2009 at 11:28 am

America’s Backbone

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Aside from Baseball and steroids, no connection in America is deeper than the one between Americans and the institution that provided them with their post high-school education. In the spirit of March Madness, I thought it’ll be wise to stop and talk about ‘College’ and its significance in American society.

Every nation needs a backbone. Something that will connect EVERYONE, an experience that one way or another had affected all during his or her lifetime. In Israel, for example, it’s the IDF. Mandatory service laws dictate that every 18-year-old Israeli boy or girl has to serve three and two years (respectively) in the national Army. Put the war issues aside, this is a great bonding experience, a true melting pot for society. It’s something every citizen can relate to, a place where everyone meet and are forced to live together and persevere. America doesn’t really have a melting pot, but College is definitely the closest one. In 2004, 52% of Americans attended college. That’s huge. But that’s barely half the country, not to mention I’m way too lazy to break the 52% into socio-economic backgrounds to get a clearer picture (I tried reading the census and failed due to severe boredom).

The reason that this occupies me is that I always felt that if it weren’t for ‘The Arabs’ who are inescapably trying to kill them, Israelis would hate each other to the point of a civil war. But lucky (or not so lucky) for Israel, the fact that the Arabs are trying to annihilate them from the face of this planet unites them. This is obviously not the best of situations, but the result, I believe, is that no other people in the world care for their fellow citizens like Israelis do. Now answer this – does anyone in Santa Monica cares for anyone in Detroit? Better yet, does anyone in Santa Monica cares for anyone in the San Fernando Valley?

How much of this dog eat dog world has to do with the capitalistic nature of Uncle Sam? Is there a fault or blame here? And who cares if there isn’t really a connection? America has done fairly well without it, so does a country even need to have a correlation between its people? And how come people get along here but can’t stop fighting elsewhere? Is it because of Woodstock? Burning Man?

It’s a tad weird to live in a place where the people are so different from each other, so disjointed and far away. I guess America is like a Paralympic Athlete: not all body parts are connected, but they somehow pull it together enough to be champions. Odd metaphor, I know. Now, if in fact ‘College’ is America’s melting pot, and if in fact we’ve established there’s some sort of Paralympics-ness involved here – isn’t it suitable that the man who represents ‘College’ (and as such, connects America) during this fine month of March is Richard ‘Dick’ Vital?

Written by Frankelstache

March 23, 2009 at 8:22 am

The Future

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Lately I started volunteering in a daycare. Kind of ironic that the same man the US authorities basically wanted out is now taking a part in molding the future generations of this fine country. Keep an eye open, and expect great things out of the Berkeley Jews in 20 years or so. After only several weeks, I  already feel partially responsible for the upcoming crimes these young citizens are going to commit when they grow up. Obviously, an NBA superstar or a Hooters girl will make me feel damn good, but if neither is a possibility, I’ll totally settle for a rapist or a mass murderer sociopath.

Seriously though, I have to say I find it extremely intriguing to interact with these kids. I didn’t imagine how watching them would teach me so much about society. I have a front row seat as these boys and girls gather behavioral patterns that will probably follow them forever, and I can’t stop thinking of some of my adult friends. It’s fascinating. I mean granted, I’m in Berkeley, CA, which isn’t exactly the prototype of classic Americana, but nonetheless, I get to witness a good enough range of tots.

America and American’s are being bashed and trashed from every angle and under every open microphone or keyboard these days. It seems like since Bin-Laden’s (equivalent of) Bar Mitzvah production back in 9/11, the slope is slipping faster than Sarah Palin’s disappearance. I’m probably not revealing any shocking facts with this theory here, but still, I can’t seem to shake the thought that those planes flew into a building, and it was America that crashed – in its own eyes, and it the eyes of the rest of the world. But I digress.

In any case, those Berkeley kids are so fucking nice to each other it’s almost painful. When I was a kid, going to kindergarten was like going to war. The minute your mom dropped you off* it was every man for himself. When I close my eyes and recall certain kindergarten days, I can almost hear Axel Rose screaming “Welcome To The Jungle” inside my mind (whereas here in Berkeley it’s probably Jack Johnson singing “Banana Pancakes”).
We had a bomb shelter in our yard, and I remember the day we all climbed on it so we can pee on a kid named Oren – just because we knew he was adopted. Don’t get me wrong, cause I ADMIRE how sweet and well behaved these kids are. I guess I’m just missing a little bit of spice. It also amazes me how I can tell them something and they’ll listen to me. The other day I told an eight year old he needs to sit quietly and think about what he did (kicking a wet ball on the wall or something). He actually sat and thought about it. Now if someone had said something like that to me 20 years ago, I probably would have told him there’s a higher chance of him banging his own grandmother than me sitting quietly to contemplate my prior actions.

Wake up and smell the Humus, because America is doing great. Really. I don’t really care if there are floods in New Orleans, downsizing in Detroit, homelessness in every major city and decrease in college graduates nationwide**.

Education, my friends, is the single most important thing in this world. Creating a better generation and making sure “our” children will grow up to be better people assures us that in the long run this country, and this world will be a better place. So that’s good news. Even if it’s not measured by a Credit Score.

This has to be the cheesiest way I’ve ever finished a written document.

* Assuming you were younger than the age of 5, when having your mom still dropping you off was cause for being tag-teamed in the showers.

** I’m totally making this up. I have no clue if the amount of college graduates have been increasing or decreasing nationwide.

Written by Frankelstache

March 5, 2009 at 11:10 pm