Frankelstache

Life, America, Randomness

Posts Tagged ‘Health

Help Obama Sell Healthcare

with 3 comments

In response to this:

Here are some headlines to aid in this democratic struggle. So why change the current state of Healthcare?

1. Because ‘Freedom’ is having your herpes cured for free.

2. Because Hospital employees smell worse than your neighborhood bums.

3. So the homeless will die healthy.

4. You’re unemployed and have no retirement – do you really think you have a choice?

5. So Jesus can work his miracles.

6. Because Bush would never do it and that’s all the reassurance we need.

7. Cause Doogie Houser is gay.

8. Because Doctors are obnoxious, keep them off the streets.

9. Because Meth lab employees are getting furloughed.

10. So Jewish mothers will continue to develop complexes.

Written by Frankelstache

September 16, 2009 at 4:53 pm

Eat Up, Boys and Girls

with 4 comments

I’ve commented in the past on how ridicules I find some of the advertisements on TV, especially the ones that celebrate certain things that can only be seen as pros in America.

When Pizza Hut used their “1 full lbs of cheese inside every Pizzone” as a selling point (and basically championed heart attacks), I thought it was a glitch, that although Americans eat Junk Food as often as hookers fuck, recent years must have helped them evolve and comprehend that their food culture requires immediate change.

But it turns out I was wrong. Along comes Taco Bell with new ads for their taco Salad, proving, yet again, that America’s food culture and habits are so bad, I must wonder if this country needs its kids to start getting strokes before middle-school in order to wake up. Now I already have a full stomach (no pun intended. In fact, ‘an Empty stomach’ fits better here) on how “salad” in America is code for lettuce, breadcrumbs, cheese and enough ranch to drown Hulk Hogan. so naturally, this issue bugs me very often. But I digress.

How, in the name of the people who voted for GWB twice, could one be happy when something that’s labeled “Salad” isn’t, in fact, a salad?? This campaign with its catchphrases “It’s only technically a salad” is an insult to the intellect. Moreover, what bugs me here is that salad is being treated as something wrong. Now I’m no saint, and the woman I love, together with anyone else who ever saw my beer belly will testify to my love for food, especially meats, cakes and other unhealthy goodies. But as much as I (occasionaly) love dipping my pork ribs in hot, spicy bbq sauce, I also recognize the importance of healthy food. Fruits, vegetables, water – neither mixed with cheese. I mean, who knows, I might die out of a red meat caused heart attack at age 41, while my American friends who eat corn with butter and fried chicken with hollandaise sauce will live till they’re 102. But man, being healthy isn’t a bad thing. And for fuck sakes, lettuce, bread, cheese and ranch alone does not make for a salad. Caesar was a fucking idiot, and people who buy into Taco Bell’s ‘Technically a salad’ ads are idiots, too.

Written by Frankelstache

May 22, 2009 at 4:13 pm