Life, America, Randomness

Posts Tagged ‘Hookers

Eat Up, Boys and Girls

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I’ve commented in the past on how ridicules I find some of the advertisements on TV, especially the ones that celebrate certain things that can only be seen as pros in America.

When Pizza Hut used their “1 full lbs of cheese inside every Pizzone” as a selling point (and basically championed heart attacks), I thought it was a glitch, that although Americans eat Junk Food as often as hookers fuck, recent years must have helped them evolve and comprehend that their food culture requires immediate change.

But it turns out I was wrong. Along comes Taco Bell with new ads for their taco Salad, proving, yet again, that America’s food culture and habits are so bad, I must wonder if this country needs its kids to start getting strokes before middle-school in order to wake up. Now I already have a full stomach (no pun intended. In fact, ‘an Empty stomach’ fits better here) on how “salad” in America is code for lettuce, breadcrumbs, cheese and enough ranch to drown Hulk Hogan. so naturally, this issue bugs me very often. But I digress.

How, in the name of the people who voted for GWB twice, could one be happy when something that’s labeled “Salad” isn’t, in fact, a salad?? This campaign with its catchphrases “It’s only technically a salad” is an insult to the intellect. Moreover, what bugs me here is that salad is being treated as something wrong. Now I’m no saint, and the woman I love, together with anyone else who ever saw my beer belly will testify to my love for food, especially meats, cakes and other unhealthy goodies. But as much as I (occasionaly) love dipping my pork ribs in hot, spicy bbq sauce, I also recognize the importance of healthy food. Fruits, vegetables, water – neither mixed with cheese. I mean, who knows, I might die out of a red meat caused heart attack at age 41, while my American friends who eat corn with butter and fried chicken with hollandaise sauce will live till they’re 102. But man, being healthy isn’t a bad thing. And for fuck sakes, lettuce, bread, cheese and ranch alone does not make for a salad. Caesar was a fucking idiot, and people who buy into Taco Bell’s ‘Technically a salad’ ads are idiots, too.


Written by Frankelstache

May 22, 2009 at 4:13 pm

Sex on HBO

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I’m watching an HBO sex Docudrama. You know, one of these late night specials where they track flotsam and jetsam at a semi-deserted Nevada whore house. It feels like I’ve seen this same Docudrama a hundred times before. Yet, with every rerun I still watch vigilantly in hope for an erection, one that never comes (oh, the pun).

Instead, I find myself sitting in awe as these independent women of ‘The Cathouse’ talk to the camera in a language less cohesive than my friend’s 4 month old fetus. And the thing that kills me the most is the poor dude that keenly appears as co-star in this gripping tragedy. You’d think that a man desperate enough to pay for sex will wanna keep it a secret. Or at least hide his face somehow. Wear sunglasses, a fake beard – anything. But no. This guy is as honest about paying for his sexual encounters as Rush Limbaugh is honest in his belief in white supremacy.

I ought to wonder where’s the confidentiality? Where’s the self-awareness? I mean hookers? What happened to having your ass hole licked by your wife a totally sufficient guilty pleasure? Who pushed the envelope* to this extreme?

Back to HBO, the whore house owner just said: “I don’t sleep with civilian chicks. I don’t wanna sleep with amateurs. These girls are professionals and they’ll do things that civilians will never do.” Awesome.

* Great opportunity for me to link to this

Written by Frankelstache

March 14, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Posted in Life, Randomness, SEX

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