Frankelstache

Life, America, Randomness

Posts Tagged ‘Men

A delayed Good Shabbas Video

with 3 comments

so in the past, we’ve all relished on some quality singing like this amazing vide

But now, I present to you, my friends, the newest most awesomest video involving an asian dude doing Karaoke.

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Written by Frankelstache

March 8, 2010 at 2:59 pm

A Man Knows He’s Getting Old

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When hair starts growing in his ears. Until then, he’s nothing but a manchild.

Written by Frankelstache

December 24, 2009 at 4:06 pm

Posted in Humor, Life, Random

Tagged with , , , , , ,

Good Shabbas Video

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You know, I tried. I really tried. But I just can’t find the words to describe this video. I hope you enjoy this experience.

Written by Frankelstache

December 11, 2009 at 12:00 pm

Good Shabbas Video

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While on the subject of toilets, I thought we can enjoy this classic Asshole activity.

Written by Frankelstache

November 28, 2009 at 9:37 am

Mingling Codes

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We advertising people sustain an interesting combination of having an immense ego, alongside the self-esteem of a head to toe pimpled 13-year-old girl. That’s why no other industry (Entertainment aside) celebrates itself more proudly and often than ours. Award shows, publications, interviews. If there’s a way to prove that we’re the coolest, smartest, have the best motherfucking jobs, prettiest people the world has ever encountered – we’ll be there.

Last night I attended a Networking event. The nice people of Adobe hosted a bunch of pompous ‘creatives’ and other ad characters. They fed us really well, gave us lots of free booze and even a fancy nametag. Some random dude spoke about the marketing of tomorrow and how the Internet Is amazing and Twitter will change the world and so on and so forth. So I sat there. And listened. God. This is so ridiculous it’s not even funny. It never ceases to amaze me how my industry honestly believes it’s doing sacred work, acting like we saves lives, believe it or not.

But back to my point, after the speakers called a halt the entire room dove deep into the fake and narcissistic world of networking. Now I unassumingly believe I can be very charming at times. I’m fairy nice to look at and can bullshit with confidence about an array of matters. Yet, I’d probably prefer being gang raped in my ear by a herd of silverback raccoons than mingle my way through two and a half hours.

What is it with you Americans that love these atrociousness chitchats so much?

Of course, no networking event can be successful without the gracious help of some key characters, and being that I’m all about serving the public, I’ve narrowed them down to a science:

1. The woman that drinks like she never met free white wine before.

2. The gay man, causing a qualm whether flirting with him in your career’s name makes you a certified whore.

3. The woman in Über high heels that draws despondency rather than attention.

4 The guy that doesn’t know a soul in the building and pretends he’s extremely interested in evaluating the typography of his beer bottle for an hour (that’ll be me).

5. The guy that doesn’t know a soul in the building yet speaks to everyone, spreading awkwardness as he gazes for his next victim.

6. The woman that didn’t come here to find a date but if it happens it must be destiny.

7. The guy who came to get laid.

8. The event’s host, relentlessly speaking to e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e without purpose.

9. The catering staff that came for the tips but has to suffer pointless conversations with characters 4 & 5.

10. The guard that simply wants all you assholes to go home already and get a fucking life.

Written by Frankelstache

November 5, 2009 at 11:24 am

Halloween Sayings

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I always hear guys say “Women dress like sluts in Halloween because that’s how they want to dress daily in their heart of hearts.”

So based on that, do all men secretly aspire to be Cross-dressers?

Written by Frankelstache

October 29, 2009 at 9:29 am

Pickup Lines.

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Such a wonderful invention. Here are some of my favorites –

For international hunters:

“So, read any good Jihadist websites lately?” *

For the ‘I get women’ angle:

“Are you a heavy bleeder?”

For the sophisticated

“Your mom must be hot” **

For the romantic:

“I’ve been a gardener for 30 years and have yet to see a flower like you”

For the reverse psychology artists:

“I’ve been taking dumps for 30 years and have yet to see a piece of shit like you”

For the creepy:

“You have beautiful eyes – can I touch them?”

For the HIppie:

“I’m an Organic Vegan and I taste delicious – are you a herbivore?”

For the Foreign lover:

“Do you believe in love from the first look?”

For the Freudian slip-ers:

“Wanna come to my room? have a cup of coffee…? a fuck of tea?”

For the redneck:

“You remind me of my Peccary”

For the practicals:

“Your hips look like they were made for childbearing. I’d like to mate”

For the Pedos:

“You’re before your Bar Mitzvah, right?

For Jdaters:

“The rabbi didn’t use any magnifying glass during my bris.”


* Copyrighted, Aloni. A.

** Copyrighted, Fleming. H.

Written by Frankelstache

August 31, 2009 at 4:10 pm