Frankelstache

Life, America, Randomness

Posts Tagged ‘Philosophy

How Is It That One’s Opinion

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alway contradicts mine?

Is it like that with everyone? It seems like everything I do, One’s way will be completely different. I often think he does that just to spite me.

Screw One, I say.

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Written by Frankelstache

December 9, 2009 at 7:57 pm

Posted in Language, Random

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Halloween Sayings

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I always hear guys say “Women dress like sluts in Halloween because that’s how they want to dress daily in their heart of hearts.”

So based on that, do all men secretly aspire to be Cross-dressers?

Written by Frankelstache

October 29, 2009 at 9:29 am

I Must Wonder

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If a Canine’s sense of smell is roughly 5 times stronger than a human’s, how is it that my dog won’t go into anaphylactic shock every time someone breaks wind in his vicinity?

Written by Frankelstache

October 14, 2009 at 7:41 am

Posted in Humor, Random

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CUTE or GROSS?

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So I thought to myself what will happen if I combine a really heinous word that reeks of grossness with a word that just screams positivism and cuteness. Which word / association would prevail? Can we draw a bulletproof conclusion from these examples? All of that (and more) – right here, right now.

 

So…is it CUTE or is it GROSS?

(I shall give you my opinions, too)

 

 

“Baby poop”I say cute. True, poops can be nasty, especially after a visit to the local Taqueria (or better yet, Indian buffet), but the word ‘Baby’ is simply too powerful. I do realize, however, that some people find babies to be horribly gross, but those are exactly the kind of people who treat their excrement as god’s gift – so cute still prevails.

 

“Puppy vomit”I say gross. Puppies are usually very alluring with their sweet eyes and wagging tails and perplexed looks right after you ask them “what gave you the idea that my purse is a good place for you to urinate in?!” so you’d think that this word’s cuteness would emerge victorious. Except that vomit is so vile and sickening, the sheer smell of it inside my imagination right now is enough to win this battle.

 

“Anal cuddle”I say I don’t know.

 

“Good Samaritan with hemorrhoids”I say gross. I keep thinking about a Jehovah Witness knocking on doors asking if he can take a dump at random people’s houses, making their restroom filthy . I can’t explain why I’m thinking about it, but it’s definitely gross.

 

“Transsexual Marionette”I say cute. Well, more funny than cute, I guess. Trannies actually freak me out a little in real life, especially my neighbor for a floor below. But the thought of a marionette with a ballet skirt / outfit and a giant penis is kinda funny.

 

“Sweet semen”I say gross. Or maybe it’s because I’m a guy? Would any lady  / Castro resident disagree? I heard (yes, only heard) that it’s suppose to be salty, so in that case maybe the above combo is cute. Can someone enlighten me here, please?

 

This is all for now. Next time we’ll play this game with celebrity couples. Oh, and since this is the age of interactivity, I’d like to ask for your comments and opinions below.

Written by Frankelstache

August 20, 2009 at 9:56 am

Posted in Humor, Lists, Random

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The less hair you have on your head

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The more hair you have on your body.

Written by Frankelstache

August 7, 2009 at 7:26 am

Posted in Humor, Random

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Super Truper

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Every person dreams about being a superhero at least once in his / her life. I never did. Fuck Batman, Aquaman and their clones. Why the fuck would I wanna be stuck dressed in tights all day long or become half man – half spider? That doesn’t sound so appealing to me. Superman was not a fashionista, to say the least and the whole living as your alter ego business sounds like too much work, frankly.

Did I mention a superhero’s horrible moral code? It seems like they feel like they have to rescue every old lady that loses her cat – and god forbid if not. The worst thing you can do to a superhero is chain him to a chair (one he can’t escape, though, dummy) and force him to watch you torture someone ruthlessly. If I get tied to a chair I can’t escape, all I care about is not getting raped with a chainsaw, I could care less about some random stranger I don’t even know. But superheroes, man, they live by a different code.

Nevertheless, with their painfully irritating ethics and not so craftily designed costumes come super powers, which is something I might be interested in, somewhat. So I thought of gathering up a list of super powers I aspire to attain one of these days.

1. The ability to eradicate other people’s cell phone reception with my own mind.

2. The power to teach pets to make me a Mango Lasi whenever I crave it.

3. The skill to bbq meat to perfection – with a sneeze.

4. The gift of poop that needs no wiping in the aftermath.

5. The aptitude to erase tattoos with my magic saliva.

6. The capacity to cure women’s acne with my sperm.

7. The handiness to silence screaming babies with a wink.

8. The dexterity to move my name to the top of every weekend-brunch-place’s waiting list with a smile.

9. The means to make myself a delicious Ruben Sandwich even if I don’t have any ingredient.

10. I guess that being able to fly can be cool, too.

Written by Frankelstache

August 5, 2009 at 5:44 pm

In a Perfect World…2

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Worrying will burn calories

Written by Frankelstache

July 31, 2009 at 7:19 am

Posted in Humor, Life, Randomness

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