Frankelstache

Life, America, Randomness

Posts Tagged ‘Pink Floyd

More Dog News

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0 experience The Woman I Love and me have raising puppies. Dog is predestined for therapy.

1 boy named Mango J. Frankelstache The First. Given name is a tad androgynous but nothing else stuck.

2 times I consummated since his arrival. I get less vajayjay than George Michael, Elton John and Idaho Senators altogether.

3 hours and the pup needs to pee. He was blessed with a woman’s bladder.

4 consecutive hours of sleep is the most I’m getting nowadays. I’m awake so much at night, I know all the neighborhood pimps by names.

5 lbs this elfin creature weighs. Just like the perfect boob.

6 times a day we pull out ticks from his dainty body. Like a Trojan Horse, you welcome a gift and get 100’s of horrible insects.

7 weeks are left before he can interact with other dogs. His immune system now is weaker than Michael Jackson’s.

8 different bands / singers I played for him thus far. He seemed to love Pink Floyd the most, the little fascist.

9 different toys he has and had already diminished two. Anger management is imminent.

10 trips to the pet store already. Almost as if he found us on “Sugardaddy.com”

Mango The Labradoodle

Mango J. Frankelstache The First

Written by Frankelstache

July 22, 2009 at 7:26 am

Anal-ism

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Something’s been bugging me for a while now. Not really sure why I remembered it all of a sudden. It’s late, I’m watching an MTV show about 16 year old White Trash girls that got Britney-ied* and I guess you could say I’m still under the influences of Queen, that’s been playing in the background for the past hour.

At any case, I have another English inquiry I wanted to talk about. You know I came to America a tad less than three years ago thinking / knowing that the word ‘Anal’ has to do with one’s anus, and is more often than not used when describing an activity closely related to but-banging. Faster than the time it takes a republican to answer ‘Jesus’ when asked who’s got his back, I learned that ‘Anal’ isn’t a language taboo, but actually socially accepted – and can, at certain occasions, be seen as a compliment.

Time had passed and I learned more and more about the American use of the English language. I avidly read Krakuer’s awesome books, surreptitiously studied H. Fleming’s eye-opening poetry and diligently watched a few Hannah Montana episodes, yet the story behind Anal’s transition from a sodomy-descriptive adjective to an allegory illustrating a detailed-oriented / control-freak person has yet to exposed itself in front of my daunted eyes.

The first explanation I came up with was that apparently all these Librarians / OCD Soccer Moms must really like it up the ass. But that seemed like a bigger urban legend than “Woody Allen used to make great movies” so I decided to forego it. Then I thought that maybe it’s because the anus is a very tight and squeezed place, and that so-called ‘anal’ people really enjoy small and tight places cause they can fit things inside of it (by category) and label it perfectly. But that, too, sounded like a far-fetched idea. Lastly, I went as far as exploring the possibility that the correlation between the two uses stems from the fact that a vagina lubes itself free-willingly (well, somewhat) while the ass’s lubrication levels can and must be controlled – and anal people like control. But that was just too out there and I thought no one is that twisted.

So now I turn to you. Can someone please put me out of my misery and explain, once and for all what’s the deal?

* Knocked up

Written by Frankelstache

June 18, 2009 at 11:36 pm